Kindle of Kittens

i really want to draw right now

but i have zero inspiration

it’s pretty terrible when this happens D:

have some super-realistic GUMI in the meantime. (i think she might be my new favorite female vocaloid *o*)

Listen to just the song first :)

When the revenant came down
We couldn’t imagine what it was
In the spirit of three stars
The alien thing that took its form
Then to Lebanon, oh God
The flashing at night, the sirens grow and grow
Oh, history involved itself
Mysterious shade that took its form
Or what it was, incarnation, three stars
Delivering signs and dusting from their eyes

- Concerning the UFO Sighting Near Highland, IL. (Sufjan Stevens)
 

I positively adore this song. It’s one of the rare ones that popped up on pandora and instantly made me fall in love. It’s not about anything deep- it’s not about love, or sorrow, or loss, or betrayal, or longing- it’s not about anything cliche. It’s just about how a group of people saw strange lights in the sky… near Highland, IL. :) The tune stays mostly the same. The background music is just piano and some sort of pan flute.

It’s more evocative than anything I’ve ever heard in my life.

Yes, more than any classical song I’ve ever loved, either.

I don’t know how he does it. The lyrics are far from the most poetic that I know- they’re mostly just describing the lights, secondarily how in shock everyone is and the police sirens. (one line each) People say it’s referencing the Bible- I can see that, though I wouldn’t know. He probably means that. Lebanon is just a place in Illinois near the sighting, though.

I guess half the lyrics are “poetic-” but that’s in a ten-line long. But it’s because the lyrics don’t matter- unlike in most songs, they enhance the music, instead of the other way around.

Overall, the song sounds very simple. If anything, the piano gives the image of something falling to the ground and shattering. The flute sounds kind of like it’s beckoning something, like the Pied Piper almost, or birdsong in the morning. (lol this sounds slightly cheesy, sorry.)

But you can feel the awe and confusion, and even a little bit of fear- the vocal melody is slightly unsettling when he says “or what it was,” when it gets higher, breaking from the pattern of the rest of the song. People’s voices get higher when they’re excited (I’ve been told this about myself more than once) It’s like he spent the first part of the song just staring and wondering, even though people around him are reacting (the sirens) and it’s finally settling in that whatever the lights are, they aren’t human.

I felt almost like I had to hold my breath, the first time I heard this. And I was in love.

And that’s what I was trying to get at this entire time, incidentally.

Whenever I say I love someone- and it’s always one of my friends, just so you know- or even if it’s just something, my dad looks at me and says, “Don’t use that word so lightly.”

But I’m not.

I know I’m just a teenager. Maybe I don’t understand romantic love yet. Perhaps I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life with them, (platonically!) but it’s not like I ever said I wanted to marry any of them. (that—- that’s my definition of romantic love I guess) I don’t understand why my father doesn’t think I can love my friends to this magnitude.

At the same time, I suppose I “fall in love” too easily.

Anything that makes you think about it constantly, that you always want to think about it- that’s falling in love. Like when I first watched Code Geass, or I first used sai painter. Even with people, it’s like when I constantly think about how (hilarious/interesting/nice/other: pick one) someone I met is, or something they said. I’m sure everyone’s been with me when I randomly laugh.

It’s not necessarily healthy, I’ll give my dad that. I’ve spent far too much money and time on figures and anime. Perhaps even on drawing (even though I haven’t done that as much recently, i really need to) in neglecting my homework until late at night. And for people…

It’s hard to describe. I’d say that emotionally, i’m pretty immature. Very immature. This is probably why I’m so strong in my loves and hates. The biggest thing is that, when I’m talking or interacting with someone I love, I tend to think I’m wrong.

Sure there are times when I needlessly think I’m right. I tend to express these more than thinking I’m wrong. But I’ve realized that lately, I bend over backwards to do things that I don’t want to, go places I don’t care to go, say things I don’t really mean- for the people I love. I’ll pretend to not have an opinion (sometimes I fool myself into thinking I don’t have an opinion) because it’s more important to just be with them than to do something I want.

And I mean, relationships are all give and take. You have to defer sometimes. But, perhaps because this year I’ve been really focused on making more friends and strengthening old friendships, for some people I’ve been doing it a lot.

It works in reverse too. For the people I’m most comfortable with, I seem to be take take taking a lot more. And if you’re one of them, and you’ve been thinking that, I acknowledge it. And I’m sorry. :/

I value everyone’s friendships a lot. As this school year drew to a close, suddenly there was so little time to become closer with everyone I finally “fell in love” with this year. So it may be in the hurry to become closer before we all scurry off to college.

Has this happened to you? This may be an abrupt ending, but all I can say is: let’s fall more in love this summer and this year. :’3 <3

unrelated: these gummy vitamins leave the strangest aftertaste :<